Ok, so where were we? Had I found the R2 Unit, convened with the Rebels and destroyed the Death Star? Just joking, that was a close personal friend of mine. I was wrestling yes?
Man, let me tell you something, if you think wrestling is all pillow falls and air punches you are gravely mistaken. I haven’t even wrestled in a match yet and am black and blue weekly, the only thing that’s fake about wrestling is Coach Cannons smile when he issues drill after drill of dropping down in front of your opponent whilst they run over the top of you, then using all your plyometric might, springing up and clearing him/her with a leap frog jump, only to have to drop down again once you’ve landed as they continually bounce on and off the ropes in some kind of perpetual exercise hell. It sounds doable but when it’s a 16 foot ring there is literally zero waiting time, you drop, you spin around and you should just be in time for them to leapfrog up. What’s even worse is the fact that if you fail someone is getting head butted in the ball sack, or for all you anatomy freaks, the scrotum.
As a big guy with a stack of muscle I’ve always considered myself a durable, handsome, young go-getter with an above average knowledge of star wars collectables, but after my initial consult and first training sessions I was being carried out of bed every morning by my lovely wife. “Death do us part” is all very fickle when you’re asked to change your 30-year-old husbands underpants because he has sore ribs. sore legs and a low tolerance for doing anything productive ( ie: getting dressed ). She did it though and now I’m always asking myself “How far can I push this marriage before I become completely, sexually undesirable?” I feel like I’m getting close as when I look/gaze into her eyes that were once dreamy, they now look a little more disengaged, almost like I constantly have something hanging out of my nose but she feels that she shouldn’t have to bring it to my attention as I should already be on top of things like that, or maybe it’s just the fact that every hobby or passion I obsess over ends up with me performing in front of people in my underpants. Anyway that’s enough about my marital issues, moving on thanks Cedric.
A few weeks in I knew muscle wastage was going to be a problem, as an ectomorph genetically ( skinny bitch ) ,whenever there is intense physical activity my bodyweight will melt off me like a Gi Joe in a Microwave.
Initially I asked the ‘number 1 student’ Emanuelle who carries a respectable physique and trains in drawn out, high intensity crossfit/cardio sessions for any kind of experienced opinions on fuelling your body to hold your muscle, but he only replied with some irrelevant analogy that served no purpose, I can’t remember which one, I think it was “The proofs in the pudding big man” followed by some cheesy sh!t eater grin.
I guess it’s going to be hard to get along with the other students and wrestlers. Here they are, judging me straight off the bat, thinking things like “Look at this guy, he thinks because he has a decent physique he can just march in and be a superstar” and here I am thinking “Look at me, I’ve got a decent physique, I’m going to be a superstar” Although the thoughts are similar they both have very different emotional attachments to them. I’m sure we will eventually work out our differences though, I was actually thinking about that when 9 out of the 12 of my class mates lapped me in a 3 lap running race around the block the other day.
Back to the muscle wastage, pulling out all the stops I involved pasta and beef mince in 4 of my 7 meals throughout the day, my calorie range is at around 4500 I get some vital calories in there thanks to ( Oh shit here comes the terrible plug ) Bulk Nutrients Fine Powdered Oats it makes hitting that target a lot easier. I slipped down to 103 and have built back to 110 with the excessive eating, Tony Soprano diet. If you want diet published just ask the Bulk Nutrients guys on facebook and if there’s enough demand I’ll put it on paper.
The problem with all these calories has been digestion, I was only born with one stomach as opposed to our genetic rivals – the cow ( who have an impressive 4 stomachs, I have an uncle who enjoys reading and sharing facts about livestock ) and I’m constantly walking around like E.T, which can be quite detrimental to ones self esteem. I’m sure it’s an adaption phase and will start adding in a lot more greens to try and quell my bloated abdomen.
Next week I plan on getting some video footage of what’s been going on and some other useless information.
Until next time