Aug 28th: Today went well, really well. As I strive for greatness at this magical sport I realise I have chosen well in selecting a coach. It boggles my mind why people try to learn anything from anyone who is not an expert in their field; Cannon – my coach can truly attest to being an expert. Unfortunately for him, he’s training me, and I will use this information and skill set in which he is passing down to destroy and humiliate him. It’s a lot like Anakin & Obi Wan, but with better acting and a lot more sexual innuendo. My body seems to be holding up, although I have noticed an increase in lower back pain, I fell on my ass after being thrown over the top rope and into the ring via the apron and it’s plagued me. I probably have a broken back, but I have no time to worry about that now, it will probably mend itself anyway as I’m taking a calcium supplement.
KC Cassidy continues to openly flirt with me in front of her partner/my coach. She’s been doing it in her own subtle, perculiar ways by avoiding me and treating me like a distant friend. I don’t know what makes me so irresistible to the opposite sex….that’s a lie. I do. The combination of a moustache that could sand down an oaken table, the eyes of an eye model and the chest hair of an 80’s soap opera star gives me enough sexual prowess to invite even the most unimaginative and rigid females to picture us eloping somewhere on the Galapagos Islands. Young men are always coming up to me and saying “Man! I wish I could be you for a day” I just laugh, not because I’m humble but because of all they money I could have made if there was a machine that would allow people to do that.
Sat 30th: Another successful week completed, another step closer to my goal. Some of our crew have matches this weekend at the MCW Show called Fight to Survive, some of the guy’s head down to Launceston – Tasmania as well to wrestle at their local shows. Let me tell you, Tasmanian wrestling sounds amazing. Good bunch of guys and a crowd that appreciates the amazing entertainment put on by the athletes.
Here’s one of my homeboys Lochy Hendricks, who’s been insulted with the riff raff and their spawn which frequent the TCW shows. Lochy decided to take the cleansing into his own hands, so during his entrance he brought out a spray bottle which he’d ‘found’ at a local hairdresser and proceeded to relieve the audience of their filth. A thoughtful and courageous act that no doubt everyone in attendance appreciated greatly.
Onto smelling, has anyone else tried Bulk Nutrients HMB –FA?
After reading this article I decided it was vital in the improvement and maintenance of my near perfect physique.
I do a lot of heavy, compound movements and a lot of cardio now with the wrestling training so this supplement looks like a real winner to have in my arsenal. It’s been 2 weeks now and I feel like recovery has been slightly better so I’m happy with it, in saying that this is probably the worst tasting thing I have ever put in my mouth. So if you’re a bit of a pussy like that this supplement is not for you, however if you’re a man; this should be something you own – even if you don’t train, you can pull it out whenever you have a bunch of other men around and squirt it into your mouth to show them that you are nothing but a sexual tyrannosaur. Sometimes I over shoot it ( I spray it into my mouth ) and it gets a bit of run-off caught in the old moustache, this is not a good thing because it gets pongy after a while. Eventually I’ll go in for a bit of a pash with the Mrs and she ends up dry reaching instead. So just note that.
On a finishing note I’ll answer a few questions that some of you have asked :-
“When is your first match?” – I don’t know, the more I learn, the more I want to learn more. It’s coming closer though.
“Are you for real?” – Yes. Very real. Are you for real? Getting a template Tattoo sleeve of a Coyfish then wearing a short sleeve tshirt all through winter so everyone notices it?
“You seem to have wayyyyy to much time on your hands” – Not really, I just invest my free time in different things. Where you might spend time taking photos of the hamburger you ate on Friday night and uploading them onto Instagram, I might spend some time doing this for BN.
That’s all I have for this entry, I’ll do another one shortly.